Getting in to you...

When I was nearing the end of my college career, my faith was at a crucial point. My relationship with Christ really started to change during the last couple of years at school, and as I neared graduation and started dating my now husband, I really understood this thing called "taking a leap of faith". Suddenly I was transitioning in to adulthood. {I know some of you did this much earlier than I did, but I was blessed and lucky to have my parents support both from the moral and financial stand point. So, during college, my rent was paid for, my food was paid for, my car was paid for, and my insurance was taken care of. I was pretty much responsible for paying for the non-essentials like clothing and my bar tab, ha!}

In what seemed like a matter of days, I was going to be paying my own rent, buying my own groceries, paying for my own insurance, and working more than full-time J-O-B. God, did I pick the right career? God, did I take a job with the right employer? God, am I living in the right place? God, is this relationship going to work? God, I am going to miss my friends so much. God, am I really going to be able to afford rent, groceries and a car?

And I remember right around that time being introduced to the music of Relient K. I was so in love with their music that I bought all of their CD's, but there was one song that I would listen to over and over:


Just the other day, I was listening to "The Message" channel on Sirius and this song came on and memories came flooding back to me. And I love how, in this song it's the honest question from a new believer to Jesus, "Do you know what you are getting yourself in to?" Yes, in fact, he did. He died on the cross knowing exactly what he was getting himself into.

But what hit me this time wasn't so much this deep need for putting my hope in Christ but it was the part that said "when I finally ironed out all of my priorities, and asked God to remove the doubt that makes me so unsure of these". I know that my life is supposed to look different if I am a Christian. And, when I was in my late teens, early adulthood, I was scared for my life to look different. I was scared to live for anyone but myself.

Now I am scared that my life doesn't look different. And so, I need to iron out my priorities and live for God. I'm getting in to Him, because He is essential to survive.

I'm not sure what that all means, but I do know that I am hearing the message loud and clear!

A fun skirt...

You know what? I really thought about trying to find a more creative title for this post, but I couldn't come up with anything original. But, I just had to share something fun for today... Another "look for less" if you will (if you remember my little gem of a purse) inspired by Pinterest.

Way back when, before the weather was even really that warm, I had seen this outfit, which was available on Etsy via the shop lexm and kind of fell in love with the skirt. 

On a whim, I happened to be at the Tommy Hilfiger Outlet (husband, if you are reading this, it was like a month ago, and I used my allowance) and found an almost identical (but not quite as cute) skirt for around $30, and of course it was on sale and I had a coupon, so I probably spent not even $20...

For the longest time I couldn't figure out what to wear it with, and the first time I did wear it I got home and realized the shirt was all wrong. Then I found this "slouchy" tank on the Target clearance rack (my second home) and threw the look together to come up with...

And, I was a big fan of the look, sans jewelry. Kind of nice. And, the really dirty unwashed hair with a little touch of the curling iron? I was actually a fan of that, too!

I wore this to church. As it turns out, it is not a kid-toting-church-wrestling kind of outfit. It's probably more of a summer-night-out-with-the-husband-babysitter-at-home-with-the-kids kind of outfit. By the time we left the skirt was very wrinkled from two little boys taking turns squirming in my lap, and I constantly had to pull up the tank top while holding two squirmy kids (did I mention the church we went to didn't have child care? 'Cuz it didn't.)

just for grins...

Food for thought...

I am pleased to say that we are still making progress on the picky eating front!

I don't have a lot of time right now to post some of the photos and details that I want to go more in depth on, but I do want to answer a couple of questions, share a couple of ideas and keep up my posts on this topic.

First, though, I was thrilled with doctors appointments on Friday. I have cut O's milk intake back quite significantly after suspecting that maybe, just maybe (perhaps?), the mucus issues, ear infections, strep throat, etc could be related to a milk irritation. Now, I have no proof, but I do think it helped.

At the ENT, his nasal passages were clear (HURRAY!!!) and he took a look at his ears and said that tubes would not be a consideration right now (yeah, he should say that after he just put my son under anesthesia and scraped out the adenoids, right?).

Then, at the pediatrician, I found out that M is in the 50th percentile for weight (double HURRAY!!!). Clearly my concerns that he was not eating enough were unfounded, but the concern for the enough being of the right stuff is still valid.

We also found, at the pediatrician, that O's ears looked great (triple HURRAY!!! If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!)

And, while at the pediatrician, I was able to confirm that it is just fine for both M & O cut back to two glasses of milk per day.

Each night since last week, M has taken a bite of radish. It is still not something that he enjoys, but each night he shows less resistance than the night before, the gag reflex is going away and there are hardly any tears. It cracks me up because he is beginning to know that there will be a radish on his plate every night. He immediately grabs it now, looks right at me and says "Momma take bite radish!"

I always take a bite to show him that it is okay and that I think they are yummy. I also show him to put it right to his molars and chomp away. Otherwise he lets it sit on his tongue and I think that is part of his battle with picky food is getting past the initial shock to his taste buds.

I am also becoming more comfortable and accepting of the idea that overcoming the picky eating battles is going to be a long and slow process, but one that will be well worth it in the "end", if there ever is one.

We are still goldfish, pretzel and "junk food" free. We are down to about 16 oz of milk per day. (If that seems like a lot, it was more than twice that, before.)

Over the weekend we were away from home and he did encounter some Oreos, but I think that was about it, and he still did great.

He is back to eating more of the foods he used to eat without screaming, like grapes, strawberries, etc.

He is learning to respond to his hunger cues by asking me for food. Honestly, he has never really asked me to eat before, unless he sees something as he's walking through the kitchen or at the grocery store. Now, he is asking for cereal in the morning, and at lunch time he will ask for toast or chicken nuggets. He hasn't really snacked much, but the couple of times that he has he asks me for applesauce (of the unsweetened variety, of course).

Some things that are working for us, as we slooooooowly make our way to eating healthier (together, might I add!) are:

Vacuum dried Snapea Crisps from Snack-Salad

Athenos Whole Wheat Pita Chips with Roasted Red Pepper Hummus (woot, woot! He likes hummus!)

As we continue on this {very slow} path, I am hoping to phase out chicken nuggets and phase in to grilled chicken and expand his tastes to some other meats as well.

Another food I tried this week, without success, was Feta cheese.

O on the other hand has had radishes, feta, green bell pepper, and grape tomatoes added to his food repertoire this week. He has actually resisted a couple of the items but after a few bites, he seems to start shoveling it in, as usual. I am so interested to see if he remains open to trying new things as he grows more attune to what is on his plate.

One other item of note for this week: Did you know that gummy vitamins lack ALL (yes, ALL) of the essential B Vitamins? Shouldn't they come with a disclaimer on the label? 

What vitamins do you give your tots? I need to find some new ones.

Also, I am thinking about writing a post on how I feel anti-Gerber these days. I won't go in to it now... But I'm just sayin'...

How 'bout?

Matthew has been saying some really funny {to me} stuff lately, and I thought I should be writing them down as each day passes so someday I can remember what is was that made me giggle... A few that I can remember:

Two Sunday's past, we attended a new church. On the way there, M decided he wanted to wear sunglasses (which never happens). When we dropped him off at the day care, he refused to take his sunglasses off, and rather than fight the battle we just let him keep them on.

Shortly into the message, we could hear a toddler crying that sounded very similar to M. Jon snuck out and walked past the toddler room to find that it was not M. But when he came back to his seat he wrote down on the bulletin "He has his sunglasses on yet." Hilarious, just picturing it was making me want to laugh so hard - but I'm not sure the pastor would have fully understood my giggles... He proceeded to wear them on the way home as he mowed down a little snack (obviously this picture was pre-junk food elimination).

Me: Matthew, there are zero minutes left until bed. Dadda will take you upstairs to say prayers.

M: How 'bout... Momma say prayers?

Me: No, Matthew, Dadda is going to take you upstairs to say prayers.

M: (more firmly) How 'bout, Momma say prayers!

And then we went through that about two more times only because it was making Jon and I laugh so hard, on the inside of course, that we had tears streaming down our face.

I wish you all could hear him say "How 'bout?"  I realized just how often I say that as a preface to something else. Too funny to hear M throwing that phrase around these days. He has also been using the phrase "Right..." a lot lately, for example, if you tell him that something is yellow, he will say "Yellow, right..." or that something is a square, he'll say "square, right..." I'm not certain where that came from.

This morning, Matthew was playing with his little mouse figurine, and he told me "Mom, Mouse have time out," and proceeded to set the mouse in the "time out corner" where he pointed to Mouse and said "Now, sit there!"

A few minutes later, M walked back over to Mouse and said "Mouse, get up now? Mouse, you understand me?" {This kills me, usually when I have M get up from a time out I explain to him why he was in time out and how to correct the behavior and then make him look me in the eyes and say "I understand, Mom".}

Today he had his first swimming lesson since moving, and the class he is in is a bit too advanced for his skill level {a bit of telephone miscommunication between myself and the registrar at the Y, apparently} but the instructor allowed us to stay since there was only one other kid in the class. Anyhow, for part of the lesson they had to swim from the shallow to the deep end, with only a noodle under their arms.

Needless to say, M was quite a bit slower than the other little guy in our class. But the whole time Matthew kept cheering himself on saying "Good job, Matthew! You did it, Matthew! Matthew swimming!" He refers to himself in the first person quite often. But, at least I know he is self-confident ;) As a side note, it is quite fun to have the older child (we'll call him "T") in M's lessons because I can already see that M wants to do exactly what T is doing, and I think it gives him something to strive for. We did "sit dives" today, and watching M try to imitate exactly what T was doing was so cute. Personally, I miss rounds of "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Little Green Frog". Ha!

And, my final cute M'ism for the day... At the beginning of "Toy Story 3" there is a scene where a train falls off the track and down a cliff, and M told me this afternoon "Where train go?! Where train go?! Where train go?!" {He has chosen not to nap this afternoon, so he is "resting" to a movie.}

First Birthday Festivities: Part 2

After the birthday celebrations on Tuesday, we continued to go about our week and I crafted, sewed, and created the week away in preparation for our family party on Sunday.

On Wednesday we went to music as usual and everyone sang Owen "Happy Birthday". Poor guy just looked so confused...

Early, like really early, on I picked a nautical theme, focusing on the colors of orange and turquoise. I have to admit, the inspiration for the idea and everything moving forward, was a cupcake that I had seen on Pinterest via From the Fence Post.  I realized that I did not get a good photo of the cupcakes, maybe it had something to do with playing hostess! Here is the photo from Pinterest,

However, I made mine a bit differently. I left off the pretzel fishing pole, mostly because by the time the 11th hour had arrived, I did not have the time or patience to tie dental floss to two dozen pretzels. Also, I love how the baker of the above cupcakes used the sprinkles and died her frosting blue. I used spray-on food coloring, so my cupcakes had white frosting with dashes of blue, it still turned out really cute!

Anywho. This cupcake sparked the nautical theme and I went from there. I knew that I wanted to do something low key on a Sunday afternoon, so we grilled burgers (compliments of Sievers Family Farms, of course) and hot dogs and the rest of the menu was Pinterest inspired.

The "silver"ware, inspired by Party Frosting via Pinterest

Beginning of the food table set up... 

In addition to the burgers, we had a standard veggie tray {though originally I had thought about making these cute cups, and this cute veggie dip}. The waffle cone fruit, green bean bundles and twizzlers were all inspired by Pinterest as well. 

The green bean bundles were a HUGE hit (I was shocked by the number of compliments, but no worries, all, I remain humble in my kitchen and domestic abilities). They were so easy to make, and I am taking them to a Mom's Night Out appetizer exchange on Tuesday, if I don't eat them all before I get there. Please check out the link, the photo there is much better. Clearly pictures of the details were not my priority on Sunday.

In addition to what is pictured above, we had cucumber salad and of course goldfish, for snacking. Owen had his birthday cake, which was a giant version of the cupcakes, and we served Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream as well. I took another cue from Pinterest and approximately one hour before the party I scooped individual servings of the ice cream in to cupcake liners so as to avoid the chaos and mess of trying to dish it as people were ready to eat. I will definitely do that again, though I admit, I almost forgot all together that I even had ice cream to serve.

Saving some of the decor and the party favors for another post, because that was one of my favorite parts (okay, and also I still need to upload some photos).

Digging in to the gifts... O wasn't too interested, but M was.

"What is going on here, people? Why are you all singing this silly song again?"

"You expect me to eat this? Gross."

Our only family photo of the day. Sweaty from playing outside and a little bit overwhelmed. Good thing we have real family pictures coming up, soon!

No specific activities were planned, but there was a lot of playing in the sand table and running around the yard, playing in the new Play Hut system, and of course it wouldn't have been a real party without a lesson in rolling down the backyard hill, from Pappi {though, the credit for such an idea actually originated at his sister's house with M & O's second cousin}.

Owen checking on the big kids...

M & G cheesin' for the camera

Pappi's lessons for the kiddos...

Devising a plan of attack...

Radishes

I feel like we have had a break through already, and I think consistency was the key.

Yesterday at supper time I gave Matthew a plate with nugget-sized chunks of grilled chicken, strawberries, rice crackers and radishes (the look similar and I put them in the same compartment of the plate). He did not like the look of the grilled chicken and started yelling "no nuggets! no radishes!" and cried and ran to the couch and started asking to watch TV.

I told him no TV until he had eaten. Once he relaxed I lured him back to his supper plate with snappea crisps (vacuum dried snap peas with a touch of sea salt, they are really yummy!). He told me again "no nuggets". I changed the grilled chicken to actual breaded chicken nuggets - because I feel like me having switched the usual to something new and scary was sensory overload and he was not going to touch a thing on his plate at that point.

Once I switched that out he gobbled up the nuggets, which was a step in an of itself because recently he has barely even touched those and I feared he was starting to eliminate those as well.

Then he - and this is HUGE - picked up a radish slice and told me, "Momma I eat radish!" and proceeded to stick it in his mouth and immediately yank it out and set it on the plate. I took that as my cue and I quietly walked over and asked him to just take one bite of the radish. He said "no" and I put him in my lap and pressed the slice down against his bottom teeth until he had essentially bitten in to it. He looked at me terrified, so I took a piece of radish and showed him to put it in his molars, chew it up and swallow.

Though there were still a couple of tears involved while he was chewing, he did chew it and swallow (which was progress from chewing and spitting it out, the night before). But the best part...

He was so proud of himself.

I, of course, praised him up and down and immediately he said "Momma! I did it! I did it! I eat radishes!!!"

And then  - this is GIGANTIC - he picked up another slice of radish and ate the whole darn thing!

Another important item of note - I kept his milk intake to a relatively reduced level yesterday as well, and there were no goldfish, pretzels or sugar snacks in his day. He gobbled his breakfast, asking for seconds. And, gobbled up his lunch including fruits he hasn't touched or shown interest in, in quite some time.

I was planning to have him take one bit of radish every night for two weeks and then introduce something new. With the progress we have made in just 48 hours, I'm thinking that two weeks from now he'll be eating them like they're Oreos (or, at least, here's to hoping).

My confidence level in all of this has sky rocketed since a few days ago. So has his.

Oh, and yesterday, at lunch, I skipped the Diet Coke. See, Momma is making progress, too.

Disclaimer & Conclusion: I am obviously far from being a medical professional. I am only documenting the above to share what is working for me and offer some encouragement to momma's of the picky-pants kiddos. I also DO plan to talk to his pediatrician about the milk thing. But my guess is, that maybe it's not an irritant, but that there was just far too much in his daily routine, before. And, too much junk in his daily routine before. Also, insisting that he try one bite, and making it mandatory, instead of an option, is not going to scar him or damage him psychologically for life. In fact, it will expand his taste for healthier, fresher, options.

I am praying that this journey continues to go so smoothly.

Picking your battles

I have to begin this post by saying that I am not even sure why I am blogging this. Mostly, I use this blog to document all of life's blessings, the big and the small.

I know that there are more serious problems in the world that I could address and blog about, but when I step in to my own little world, something that is bringing me a great deal of anxiety, as of late, is M's appetite, or lack thereof and O's chronic ear infections. My mind is racing with a million thoughts about all of this. I will talk about the picky eating and the ear infections with anyone who will listen or who I think has a piece of advice or two to offer.

Also, I have decided that with both of these issues, it would be really helpful to journal about it. For M, to keep track of what he IS eating during the day rather than focusing on what he is NOT eating during the day. For O, to back track to when these infections began occurring and what the frequency really has been. Honestly, I cannot even remember the number of infections, but what I do know is that it seems like he is constantly on an antibiotic {however, two of those instances were for croup and strep throat, though that should also raise a red flag, maybe}.

I figured if I was going to journal it, and as long as it doesn't get too personal, this would be a great place because I think other mom's are one of the greatest gifts that God has given to us for general support, ideas we haven't thought of {heck, your pediatrician might have told you the complete opposite as mine} and well, because if these prayers aren't too trivial for you, you could lift up my boys.

I really realized that M's eating was causing me anxiety when I started crying during prayer about it. You see, I get that he is two. I get that he is picking a battle, and that this is one that he feels like he can win. I get that I need to let him just be a kid.

But I feel like allowing these habits to continue on the downward spiral they are on, and call a bowl of goldfish "supper" and say "at least he's eating something" is like strapping him in to the car seat and only buckling the bottom and not clasping the harness. Or, letting him stay up until midnight because it would just be too much of a fight to put him to bed.

You see, I don't think that it is just that he is two, that he wants to pick a battle and win it, for a change. And I have gone through what feels like one million different stages with this:

When he turns three, he will be easier to reason with. It will be easier to explain to him that he needs to eat a certain way to be healthy.

All I care about is that he sits politely at the dinner table, he doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to. Scratch that, he's two, he's not going to sit at the dinner table very long.

At least he is eating something. 

I don't want to force him to eat, if he is not actually hungry then I am forever damaging him from understanding hunger cues and he's going to have food battles his entire life.

He is a super taster.

He has texture issues.

I go back and forth and round and round with these thoughts, daily, weekly, monthly. The thing is, I can't help but wonder if there is a food irritant in his diet that is causing him certain cravings. Before you think I am crazy --- which of you momma's reading this did not have cravings or aversions during your pregnancy. And, those cravings or aversions? Most often related to a vitamin, mineral, nutrient that your body is lacking at that point in time.

Also, I know that I just need to eliminate certain things right now. The crunchy, salty, sugary, sweet, empty calories that keep his tummy full but do not fuel his comfort and health. 

Yesterday was day one, and I already saw a huge difference. And honestly, the battle was not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Part of me thinks that milk is a huge irritant in M's system. Not that he is allergic. However, rest assured, I will not totally remove milk and dairy from my childrens' diet unless I seek opinions of a medical professional first.

Anyway, yesterday I let him have a glass of milk when he woke up, a 1/2 glass at nap time, and a glass before bed. In between I tried water with lemon and lime slices and watered-down V8 splash. One thing that started raising a red flag with me over the last six months or so is that M does not ever drink water. His cup is always full with milk.

I also completely cut out goldfish and pretzels (the foods he has been basically living on). He also did not get to have sugary fruit snacks. 

My biggest battle was milk. Rather than fight with him I offered water and told him that "Super Why" and "McQueen" both drink lots of water to stay hydrated and energized. It actually kind of worked.

Then, I put a few slices of radish on his dinner plate. I made sure there were other foods he liked on his plate, like Nutella on whole grain toast, and mandarin oranges. He ate all of his toast and left everything else untouched {note: he ate the sweet and slightly crunchy food}. About 15 minutes later I took a radish slice to him (thinking it's white and crunchy, just like most of the foods he has been eating) and through some tears he finally took a bite out of it. His gag reflex kicked in big time. This breaks my heart. And all at the same time, I know that he needs to experience these different types of foods or this cycle of eliminating foods from, instead of adding to, his diet will continue.

I am not concerned about having the smartest, most athletic, most successful child. But, I AM concerned with both of them being as comfortable and as healthy as possible. Through prayer, first and foremost. Second, through more attention to what they eat and how they react.

The issue on O's ears is a whole other blog post. 

This is a journey that I will probably blog about more frequently. Obviously picky eating is normal in our culture. And, I am okay with him eating the same foods over and over, if that is what he wants to do, as long as they are more nutritious choices. And before you give me the "Meanest Mom of the Year" award, I do intend to let him "just be a kid" and have a little dessert treat every now and then. Once habits improve.

A very convicting moment in all of this... As I reflect on M's eating habits, I realize they are my own. So, as I blog through this journey, I will reflect on that as well. I want healthy children, but I also want them to have a healthy mom. I can't improve their habits if I don't improve my own.

First Birthday Festivities: Part 1

O turned one last week and I feel like we celebrated for a week! Well, not really, but it would have been okay with me if we did!

We kicked off O's big day by heading out to see the other M & O! We needed to make a pit stop at the grocery store on the way, and M spotted the "car" cart right away, so O took his first spin in a "car" cart. I think he enjoyed it.

Once we got to our friends', we dove in to the toy bins in their new play room and then soaked up some sun.

Serious toddler conversation happening here...

"Too cold!"

That evening we had our immediate family over for pizza and "cake" {actually frosted sugar cookies since I knew we were having cake at his family party on Sunday}. I just wanted a relaxing little celebration of year one before having a crowd on Sunday.

O wore the same hat that M wore for his 1st birthday. For about five seconds. Then, after giving it just a bit of thought, dug right in to his sugar cookie. He ate about a quarter of it, I'm not sure he really enjoyed the sweet flavor. For every vegetable that M will not eat, O will. Opposite taste buds. Or something.

O received all sorts of fun presents from the family. Above left is a really fun "playhut" pop-up tent system that is already a hit. Above right, one of my favorites, a "rain stick" (for lack of a better term), and then a fire engine simulator and our very own little tikes swing. The swing had to go immediately to the basement because M insisted he needed to swing. I'll have to employ the engineer husband to figure out how to rig that up in our treeless back yard. Ha!

When I wake up in the morning...

O will be one-year-old.

photo via my sweet friend, Beth

And that felt like yesterday, to me.

also via Beth

Happy Birthday, sweet baby boy. You are growing so fast and I love you more every day.

Happy one-year to a little man that is laid back, spunky, happy, sweet, and speaks loud when he wants to be heard. You are a mover and a shaker, but still don't think walking is quite fast enough to be the preferred mode of transportation. You love to bounce to music, clap your hands, giggle, wrestle with your brother, dig in the sand, and drool. You are a lovey-dovey little guy and you adore your big brother and watch his every move {except for when he pushes you, which is basically the only time you ever cry}. God has big plans for you, little O, I just know it.