Toddler Tuesday: The Extra-Cirriculars

I have been struggling with balance lately. The balance between staying at home during the day and the desire to be out. The struggle between staying indoors and tackling the to-do list or going outside and enjoying the sunshine. The balance between planned activities for the boys and "free play". A lot of it has to do with moving again. Trying to make new friends again. Discovering all the activities available for small children.

I feel like where we are at, there is so much. And, I don't know when things begin, where to sign up, what we should be doing.Are my children missing out on a great opportunity? It's overwhelming. And it tempts me to do nothing at all (that's kind of what I do when I get overwhelmed, I shut down).

And then there were mornings like yesterday's. M wakes up at 5 a.m. to go potty. Cries every time we try to put him back to bed. I decide, I'm wide awake anyway, mine as well get up with him. Leave for Kindermusik around 8:40, M decides he's tired. Doesn't want to participate. We leave class to re-group and try again. M hides behind O's stroller, I quietly lean in to encourage him to join the group, he smacks me across the face.

Cue: Judgmental glances from other moms.

Instinctively my hand grabs M's wrist, harder than I intend or would like. My heart cracks a little bit. M's eyes get wide. He screams. My mind races: what do I do? what would that mom do? does she think I hurt my children? do we leave, or would that make a scene? will they think I'm too extreme? will they think I'm a pushover if we stay? don't they realize he was up at 5 a.m., and really, I mean really, he's a very sweet boy? do they understand that we're just having a bad morning? Shortly thereafter, M climbs in to O's stroller and starts acting like he is a baby, and he's the oldest child in the class. The example setter. I look at my watch, still so.much.time.left.

Then comes the quiet song. The one where you hold your child on your lap and rock. And M snuggles right in. Hugs my neck tight, snuggles his little face in to the crook of my neck and my face gets warm and my eyes fill with tears. He whispers, "I love you, too, Mommy." I turn my head and fight off the urge to have a good cry right there in front of everyone (because then maybe they would really think I was crazy). And I feel convicted. My son is two. Soon to be three, but still two. And I love him so much. And I realize why do I care what these people think? I don't. 

And then I think "over programming". I'm going to be on the run with these boys for the next eighteen years. From one extra cirricular to another. I need to slow down and savor these moments where we don't have to be anywhere or do anything that we don't want to do at any certain time.

In His perfect timing, He used MOPS to send this message to my inbox. I'm going to pray over this message, and pray that you'll take the time to look at it. Because I think its relevant whether you are a mom, or not. Meet God right where you are at.