Picking your battles

I have to begin this post by saying that I am not even sure why I am blogging this. Mostly, I use this blog to document all of life's blessings, the big and the small.

I know that there are more serious problems in the world that I could address and blog about, but when I step in to my own little world, something that is bringing me a great deal of anxiety, as of late, is M's appetite, or lack thereof and O's chronic ear infections. My mind is racing with a million thoughts about all of this. I will talk about the picky eating and the ear infections with anyone who will listen or who I think has a piece of advice or two to offer.

Also, I have decided that with both of these issues, it would be really helpful to journal about it. For M, to keep track of what he IS eating during the day rather than focusing on what he is NOT eating during the day. For O, to back track to when these infections began occurring and what the frequency really has been. Honestly, I cannot even remember the number of infections, but what I do know is that it seems like he is constantly on an antibiotic {however, two of those instances were for croup and strep throat, though that should also raise a red flag, maybe}.

I figured if I was going to journal it, and as long as it doesn't get too personal, this would be a great place because I think other mom's are one of the greatest gifts that God has given to us for general support, ideas we haven't thought of {heck, your pediatrician might have told you the complete opposite as mine} and well, because if these prayers aren't too trivial for you, you could lift up my boys.

I really realized that M's eating was causing me anxiety when I started crying during prayer about it. You see, I get that he is two. I get that he is picking a battle, and that this is one that he feels like he can win. I get that I need to let him just be a kid.

But I feel like allowing these habits to continue on the downward spiral they are on, and call a bowl of goldfish "supper" and say "at least he's eating something" is like strapping him in to the car seat and only buckling the bottom and not clasping the harness. Or, letting him stay up until midnight because it would just be too much of a fight to put him to bed.

You see, I don't think that it is just that he is two, that he wants to pick a battle and win it, for a change. And I have gone through what feels like one million different stages with this:

When he turns three, he will be easier to reason with. It will be easier to explain to him that he needs to eat a certain way to be healthy.

All I care about is that he sits politely at the dinner table, he doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to. Scratch that, he's two, he's not going to sit at the dinner table very long.

At least he is eating something. 

I don't want to force him to eat, if he is not actually hungry then I am forever damaging him from understanding hunger cues and he's going to have food battles his entire life.

He is a super taster.

He has texture issues.

I go back and forth and round and round with these thoughts, daily, weekly, monthly. The thing is, I can't help but wonder if there is a food irritant in his diet that is causing him certain cravings. Before you think I am crazy --- which of you momma's reading this did not have cravings or aversions during your pregnancy. And, those cravings or aversions? Most often related to a vitamin, mineral, nutrient that your body is lacking at that point in time.

Also, I know that I just need to eliminate certain things right now. The crunchy, salty, sugary, sweet, empty calories that keep his tummy full but do not fuel his comfort and health. 

Yesterday was day one, and I already saw a huge difference. And honestly, the battle was not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. Part of me thinks that milk is a huge irritant in M's system. Not that he is allergic. However, rest assured, I will not totally remove milk and dairy from my childrens' diet unless I seek opinions of a medical professional first.

Anyway, yesterday I let him have a glass of milk when he woke up, a 1/2 glass at nap time, and a glass before bed. In between I tried water with lemon and lime slices and watered-down V8 splash. One thing that started raising a red flag with me over the last six months or so is that M does not ever drink water. His cup is always full with milk.

I also completely cut out goldfish and pretzels (the foods he has been basically living on). He also did not get to have sugary fruit snacks. 

My biggest battle was milk. Rather than fight with him I offered water and told him that "Super Why" and "McQueen" both drink lots of water to stay hydrated and energized. It actually kind of worked.

Then, I put a few slices of radish on his dinner plate. I made sure there were other foods he liked on his plate, like Nutella on whole grain toast, and mandarin oranges. He ate all of his toast and left everything else untouched {note: he ate the sweet and slightly crunchy food}. About 15 minutes later I took a radish slice to him (thinking it's white and crunchy, just like most of the foods he has been eating) and through some tears he finally took a bite out of it. His gag reflex kicked in big time. This breaks my heart. And all at the same time, I know that he needs to experience these different types of foods or this cycle of eliminating foods from, instead of adding to, his diet will continue.

I am not concerned about having the smartest, most athletic, most successful child. But, I AM concerned with both of them being as comfortable and as healthy as possible. Through prayer, first and foremost. Second, through more attention to what they eat and how they react.

The issue on O's ears is a whole other blog post. 

This is a journey that I will probably blog about more frequently. Obviously picky eating is normal in our culture. And, I am okay with him eating the same foods over and over, if that is what he wants to do, as long as they are more nutritious choices. And before you give me the "Meanest Mom of the Year" award, I do intend to let him "just be a kid" and have a little dessert treat every now and then. Once habits improve.

A very convicting moment in all of this... As I reflect on M's eating habits, I realize they are my own. So, as I blog through this journey, I will reflect on that as well. I want healthy children, but I also want them to have a healthy mom. I can't improve their habits if I don't improve my own.